I’m sitting at the water park, editing the first draft of my book. Papers, pens and highlighters out, and now talking into my phone (yes, this is a talk to text blog, read on).
People might be judging, but what they think of me is none of my business.
That’s one of the most freeing things I have ever done in my entire life: give myself permission to be ridiculed.
I live a life that is vastly different than almost everyone around me.
I live from an entirely different paradigm of being human — one whose presuppositions some would consider anywhere from ridiculous to insane to downright offensive. I am willing to live with that, because I value the quality of my life over what people think. And the quality of my life has never been more beautiful, more aligned, more desirable to me than it is right now.
There’s power in knowing yourself. This is why the all the efforts of culture is to get us to look outside ourselves for answers.
There’s power in trusting yourself. This is why cultures worldwide teach us to trust authority.
There’s power in living your most authentic and meaningful life unapologetically — not in defiance of the status quo, but despite of it. Indifferent to it.
Many people seek to create lives away from the thing they despite. The problem is that is that they are still focused on not-that. Our nervous system, however, is not designed to not hear — case and point: don’t think of a pink elephant.
In other words, when you live your life in defiance of The Thing, you are still in a relationship with it. This means it stays lodged in your nervous system and you operate from it, despite how much you don’t want to.
What I’m talking about is something different: creating what’s meaningful to me parallel to the status quo, knowing that I am not the status quo.
When I look around, I see masses of people believing they are small, puny, tiny, insignificant. I know they’re not. I know they’re living godForces expressing through matter. But I cannot convince them of that, nor would I try.
Still, when I look around, I’m mindful that people, for the most part, live their lives in judgment — mostly of themselves, then of another. I’ve now worked with tens of women over six years. Guiding them through their innermost conflicts I have come to notice that they value the perspectives of others. They value what other people think of them, of their choices, of what they’re doing. They value external validation.
I don’t blame them. I understand it completely — that is how I have lived my life, too. I believed that if I fit in, then I wouldn’t be left out. But that kind of thinking is rooted in exclusion and denial of my truth.
Here’s the thing: living my life from the perspective of what others think keeps me captive to a reality built entirely around that question — what do others think — and that question stops me dead in my tracks. I cannot create what’s meaningful to me because I don’t have permission to discover it.
Looking for answers outside of myself keeps me profoundly powerless.
Feeling powerless only leads to more judgment. Especially of self, because we are ruthless in how we relate to ourselves. That’s what we were taught. That’s what our mothers did, and what their mothers did before them. Self-sacrifice is the name of the game. And the better you are at self-sacrificing, at being a martyr (it’s a girl thing), the more you fit the culture. The more people understand you. The more people empathize with you. The more people can relate to you — from the state of their own powerlessness and misery.
Many people confuse this with belonging. But the vibration in your body knows exactly what it is: self-sacrifice. Compromise. Ultimately, betrayal of the truth.
So for me, it all comes down to a choice — or rather, an ongoing series of them. Do I want to be miserable but relatable? Or do I want to live a life that feels so good in my own skin?
For me the answer is simple. I choose to be myself, whatever that means in the moment. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. I choose to deal with the consequences of my truth, not my illusions.
In that, I choose to live in a world that embodies abundance, not endless limitations. I choose to create what’s meaningful to me, even when there’s no evidence of success to anyone outside of me. I choose to create — not because it will bring me fame or money or beauty, but because it makes me feel good in my own life.
No one can validate what feels good, and right, to me, other than me. There is no joy in seeking validation from someone who does not have ‘it’ to give ‘it’.
I know living this way could be massive, if people let it.
I also know how difficult it is.
So I throw pebbles in a pond and watch the ripples. It’s not going to transform the pond. It’s likely not going to change the ecosystem. It’s probably not going to make a difference in the direction of the world. But it has a profound impact on the quality of my personal life. And for me, that is what matters.
So yes — I’m willing to keep helping women discover they are a living godForce, even if it offends most people. I’m willing to have the conversation about power and choice, even if it triggers powerlessness in someone else. I’m willing to say I am the creator of my reality, and so are you — even if no one believes it. Just because people subscribe to the story of powerlessness that keeps them trapped in their current reality does not mean I have to.
So, I gladly unsubscribe from the conventional story.
I have no interest or desire to replicate the status quo.
So, I don’t.
If that makes me ridiculous in your eyes, so be it.
PS — You are here to be IMMENSE!
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